Releasing 2022: The Year of The Lovers
The Lovers: How am I engaging in my relationship to self and others?
As we move through the winter solstice and into new year, we are offered the sweet invitation to reflect on where we have been before exploring what lies ahead. The numerology of the Tarot tells us that 2022 was the year of The Lovers (2+0+2+2 = 6, the number of The Lovers in Tarot.) What are we releasing and what are we bringing along with us into the next cycle of expansion and growth?
THE LOVERS
From The Tarot of the Holy Spectrum deck
THE LOVERS: RELATIONSHIP TO SELF
The Lovers card has traditionally been attached to the promise of new love or an exciting change in our love life. While that might be true for some, I find the meaning of the Lovers to be much more complex and delicious. In The Tarot of the Holy Spectrum deck, The Lovers card shows a person looking back at themselves through a mirror. I absolutely delight in this interpretation. It is such a fantastic invitation to consider the role that relationships play in our relationship to ourselves.
What might I be projecting onto other people that is actually mine to explore?
What fears or insecurities am I hoping others will solve for me?
How might I be outsourcing my joy or my opinion of myself to others?
Is there work that only I can do to improve my relationship with myself? Am I ready to look at that?
These are big, uncomfy questions!
And yet despite that discomfort, The Lovers card offers loving and gentle answers. Tending to your relationship with yourself is not meant to be cruel or judgmental. Nature teaches us that we need nourishment to grow. 2022 was an enthusiastic call to attune to ourselves, how to feel our own feelings, identify our own needs, and soothe our bodies and hearts. We were invited to learn how to become our own loving caretaker in 2022, and this lesson is meant to come with us as we move into 2023.
THE LOVERS: RELATIONSHIP TO OTHERS
Our relationship to others was also illuminated as we moved through The Lovers card. We were asked to question who we are bringing with us along our journey. We were invited to consider who is in our close circle, and if they are the people we trust and want to be learning from.
The Polyvagal Theory, founded by behavioral neuroscientist Stephen W. Porges, teaches us that we are immensely impacted by the environment we are immersed in—our nervous systems tune into the people around us. This co-regulation is at the heart of all relationships, and can be immensely healing if the people we are attuning to are safe and provide a sense of groundedness. However, if we are consistently receiving signals of disconnection, neglect, or to those who are insistent on misunderstanding us, it can have a huge impact on our ability to feel safe in the world. This in turn impacts our ability to create, rest, and play.
The Lovers card asks us to consider who is invited into our most vulnerable selves. Do they stay present with us, celebrate us, provide loving feedback when asked? Do they help us practice safety in conflict as it arises? Do they care about the impact of their decisions, and do they model the healthy voicing of boundaries and needs?
We are all human, of course. Remember, the expectation of The Lovers is one of compassion and curiosity, not blame, criticism, or shutting out. The Lovers offers a deep call to examine the environment of relationships around us and to invite our closest relationships to move into deeper conversations.
RELEASING 2022
The Lovers teaches us how to identify when to self-soothe and when to co-regulate with people that are worthy of our trust. As you move through the transition into the new year, reflect on the ways you are ready to graduate out of The Lovers’ medicine.
Questions for deeper reflection:
What was my deepest lesson about my relationship to myself in 2022?
What was my deepest lesson about my relationship to others in 2022?
What lessons from The Lovers will I carry with me into 2023?
What did The Lovers teach me to shed and leave behind?
